By Jonni & Erik Sever
Once upon a bacon strip, there were 3 fat pigs about to become ham and bacon. When they found out, they ran away and hid in giant piles of junk. The fattest pig hid in hay. The second fattest pig hid in dung. And the least fat of all hid in rocks.
Then one day a wolf who loved ham came along. He stomped on the hay and pretty soon he hit the fattest pig. Fat pigs can’t run fast so when he tried to run he only got 3 steps before he got caught and eaten by the wolf. The wolf did the same thing with the poop. The second fattest pig could run faster, but it was stupid. He tried to climb a tree but pigs can’t climb and pretty soon the wolf ate him too. The wolf devoured the last pig with no trouble at all. He was taking a nap and he was a really heavy sleeper. The wolf stomped the pig to death and ate him.
By now, the wolf himself was very, very fat. The next day he went exploring and met a tiger. The tiger thought that the wolf smelled good so the tiger ate the wolf. “Mmm…” he said. “Tastes like bacon!”
And the tiger was happy.
Or so we say…