Daily GUIDE-ance:

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Today I was almost run over by a wide pedestrian who was looking over his shoulder as he was turning a corner. It was one of those human encounters that are common across all cultures and times. In India, China, New Zealand, Turkey, amongst the Cromagnon cave painters, ancient Aztecs, Africans, Victorian England, Samurais, pirates, Jews, Romans, vikings, midgets...everyone has those random encounters where you almost trample/get trampled by another person who wasn't there until they had invaded your personal space. And we all suck in and go up on tip toes and make "Wooooa!!" sounds as we pivot around each other.

And here is what I thought today when it happened:

"Crickey, that dude almost engulfed me! Close call that. Too bad there wasn't some way I could just move aside his atoms and walk through him or something like that, would be alot simpler than having to do that stupid don't-touch-me dance. Although, seriously, John, you should be way over the whole move-the-atoms-aside concept, you know that's impossible,

or at least if it was possible, it definitely wouldn't be easier that just dodging each other.

Yeah, true, true, what I really need is for that big dude to just have a giant hole in his chest big enough for me to dive through without touching the edges. That'd work good. Only... seems like kind of a stupid design for a person to just have a hole in them constantly. Maybe if it were more like a door, that could be opened and closed. That's better.

Like if he had hinges on the left side of his chest... it'd be kind of like a cat flap only in a person in stead of in a door. yeah. Why don't we have those? Plus think how much more convenient it would be for surgeons, if we had easily opened pockets, that would let you get at your guts and innards without having to use those dangerous knives. I guess you'd want pretty good seals on it, to keep out germs etc, or people would die all the time though.

But still... there might be a nice middle ground between a perfect seal, which I guess is just solid skin, like what we all have now, and a loose cat flap of muscle and blood, and... no... probably wouldn't, work would it? I suppose that's why no one has evolved any sort of body design with holes in it like that..."


Renae said...

You must be the only person in the world who thinks like you. You kill me.

Jess Newell said...

I like the way you think

Anonymous said...

zoo wee mama!


lizS said...

all that to come to the conclusion that no, people shouldn't have holes in the, LOL!!

Mary said...


Cool anagrams that you will love, JohnBoy.

Eyepoke said...

Read em. funny!