Daily GUIDE-ance:

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I do try to not post dumb stuff about how awesome my kids are on here, because I am bored to tears by that sort of thing. But I think I am about to anyway...

Tonight Jonni wanted to know what -1 + -1 came out to. She had several opinions, including one, supposedly from her teacher, that said it would be zero. So I told her the answer and then went on sort of an explanation of how great I am at math and told her about all the math classes I did in college and how awesome I was at it, partly to brag and partly to prove that my opinion was of more value than her teacher's was in these matters. I convinced her easily.

The end result of this conversation was that Jonni wanted to know what Calculus was. And she went to our book shelf and took out my Calculus book and started leafing through it. I tried, but in the end, I told her I couldn't think of anyway to explain what Calculus was until she knew Algebra.

And it turns out I don't own an algebra textbook. How wrong is that?!

So we evolved into a conversation about algebra while I was making dinner, and she really wanted me to give her some basic algebra problems to work on... so I did. First, I introduced the concept of a variable to her, by telling her that in algebra you had to make up a name for a number so that you could talk about it and think about it, while you tried to work out the number's real name. Normally, I said, they use X for that, but since you are using that for the times sign, X might be too confusing, so why not use J (our favorite) for now? Or, I added, not wanting to limit her, make up any name you want, if you want.

She wanted, and so she thought for a while and decided to use the word "Quamillion" for her unknown number's placeholder name, and to represent it with the letter "Q".

I really don't push her into this stuff, she just asks and I talk. It flows. Anyhow. I'm not sure what the point of this story is, but I'm going to bed now. There is it. Gnight all.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Gnight already!
Don't make me start talking chess.
If you keep checking in here, you are going to hate yourself in the morning.

Friday, November 12, 2010

So, I can't quit. Why are you still here again?

Is there anyone there? Hello?
Actually, this is the last post of the day.
Okay. We've had the story's moral. It's been a full day. This is the end. My last post of the day. I hope this has been instructional. you boobs.

Go to bed!
This explains alot about how I managed when the jews took my phone away, though.
Sort of makes me wonder if I ever really woke up today at all.

there could be a moral to be learned there, but I can't quite put my finger on what it might be.
Have you ever had that experinece where you dream you are asleep and then, in the dream, dream you are waking up, only to wake up again later and realize that the first waking up was just a dream?!

Well- I dunno, but I just woke up at the keyboard again!
Ooookay, that is way strange. I just looked at my last couple posts and apparently, I posted my part of my dream sequence In My Sleep, WHILE it was happening! Obviously I spent too much time doing this junk.
Huh, wierd. I just woke up. I must have fallen asleep at the computer. crazee dreams.
Swabbing the decks in my udderwear now
These jews are mean. They took my phone and now I can't text.
I just got shanghied into the Isreali army!
A coward thinks he can live forever
If only he can shun warfare

-Norse proverb
Hey, you with the blog! Your kids suck! heheheh!
Diarrhea Glucose Necrophilia Tungsten Amphetamines Juicebox!
Back in 1904 Turklemeyer Lemp decided to hang himself from the brewery rafters one fine November evening, and a short time later Bosco Lemp Jr took a little dive from the third story window as an example to the younger members of the family. Who were all manikins, it turns out.
Last Post of the night! Gnight all!
It's 6:66!
I am considering suicide because of all of You!
Yer mom's a fagit
I'm playing with my kids and listening to them, getting to know them better. I'm so glad Im doing this!
It's 5:55!!!!!!! Sweet monkeys of brimstone!
I'm walking in the park now, enjoying nature!
I'm making out with my wife now.
People need to spend less time on the net. You should go get a life, go for a walk in the park, be with my family!
4nication is wrong.
You people need to go lift up the seat cushions of your sofa and lick up the crap you find there.
It's finally 4:44! I have been waiting 4 this moment 4 so long!!! 4 what it's worth, you should 4ward this message on to at least 44 of your friends 4 me.
Animals should have more rights than unborn human children. There's nothing insane about this.
I'm just a teeeeeeeeen age diiiiiiiiiirt bag, baaaaaaaaaaaby!
It's 1:11!!!!!!!!!
canned veggies
I'm driving to the store for grocerys!
It's 2:22! Weeeeeeeeelllllla! Let's all get GAY!
Why do people post such gay things on the internet? Nobody cares people!!
I'm surfing the internet now and listening to tunes...
I was going to go smoke some reefer, but then I got online and lost track of time. Freakin internet is wrecking my life!
AAAAAAArgh! It's practically 11AM and I feel like I have accomplished nothing today!!! Where did all the time go?!!?
Toweling off is uneventful so far
It's 12:12! Why won't you be friends with me?
I feel happy!
I'm having breakfast
Stayed up waaay to late on Facebook last night...
I'm taking a whiz right now. Don't you love that 'first-pee-of-the-morning' feeling? It usually takes so long that I have plenty of time to text, lol!
I think I'll pee the bed... Should I?
Stupid bladder. I hate it when I don't want to get up, but have to just to pee.
Almost time to get up... But I don't want to yet!
I'm sleeping Really Well! :)
Finally! I'm asleep! Dreaming of large women driving bulldozers.
Ever had one of those nights when you are soooo tired but you can't sleep? I hate those... :(
I'm in bed now! ooo the covers feel so GooD! :)
I REALLLY, SERIOUSLY need to go to sleep!!!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Helpful Memory Trick

Me and Jonni were watching "They Might be Giants, Science" last night and they pointed out that since Pluto was deplaneted, the old mnemonic of

"My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas"

doesn't work any more and suggested instead :

"My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nothing!"

Which stuck me as terribly funny. And got me to thinking. And let me say that, now that it's too late, I am a bit disgusted with the stupidity of the human race for making us crutch along with the educated mother severing pizza thing all those years when:

"My Very Educated Memory Just Showed Us Nine Planets"

would have made way more sense. How did they not think of that one? I bet They did, but deliberately suppressed it. That would be like our educators. Of course now its too late. Curses.

So. Down to eight planets, and I have been lieing awake thinking of helpful memory tricks for you all to memorize their names and order. (Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus Neptune, for those of you educated in public schools)

Here's a few:

My Victims Eat My Juicy Stuffed Up Nose.

Monstrous Vampires Eating My Jugular! Shutting Up Now!

My Vigorously Exercising Mother Just Showed Up Naked.

Once you get started on the naked theme it's hard to stop. More later mebbe...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It’s election day morning...

Thank goodness to friggin heck it will be over tonight. I’m tired of the whole thing. Who me? Bored with debate?

Actually, at this point, yes. Pretty much everything worth saying in this debate was said 2 years ago. You had to be almost a complete a human sheep to think Obama was a wise choice back then. It turns out that most people are, or at least were for that election. No shock there… humans are pack/herd animals, after all. We can choose to think, but most of the time we don’t. (That even goes for me.)

But if you still are shilling for Obama after two years worth of hard knocks… I’m sorry friend. You are just too broken for me to be able to fix. You’ll need a few more knocks, I’m afraid.

I’m not really bored with debate. But it’s all been said many times over, and even more, it’s not just been said but empirically demonstrated. Obama is either deliberately trying to wreck the economy and trash American freedom, or he is doing both out of incompetence.

Needed to get that out of the system. More sometime.