Daily GUIDE-ance:

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Letter Double You

I can't sleep and here is why: (Get it?! Why!?- of course you don't but you will in a minute)

Consider "W".

It's pronounced "double you". Note how the "w" sound never appears in the letter's name. Doesn't that bother you? (get it? YOU)

Now think about "Y".

Pronounced "Why". See- the "wuh" sound is in the letter "Y", but not in "W". It would make just as much sense to pronounce "W" as "why" as it does to pronounce "Y" as "why". WHY is that? (I'm on a roll!)

Most of the alphabet makes sense. Lieing in bed just now I have worked out that alot (8 or so) of the letters end in the "eee" sound: BCDEGPTVZ

Many of the others (5) start with the "eh" sound: FLMNS

Then there's the end-in-"ay"-sounds letters (only 2): JK

And the vowels. They mostly make sense, except for "U":
"You"
Why do you say the y sound in "U"? Shouldn't we just say "uh" instead?

So: 8 "eee"s +5 "eh"s+2 "ay"s+5vowels=20, leaving 6 anomalies: HQRW and Y.

H: Aich. How'd that ch sound get in there?
Q: cue. Should be pronounced "Queeee", to make it one of the "eee"s.
R: arr. makes sense basically, although it'd be more uniform if it was errrr along with eff, el, em, en and es.

So. Now sing with me the corrected alphabet:

Ay Bee -- frickin-- "See" makes no sense either! I did not see that until now. (har har!!!)ok: starting over:

Ay Bee Kee (frick, why do we even have that stupid letter, if it doesn't have it's own sound?! Out with it! 25 and counting!)

Sing along aloud now:

Ay Bee Dee Eee ef Gee eh
I Jay Kay el em en Oh Pee Quee er es
Tee uh Vee
(bahahah you said Oh, Pee! Queeers TV!)
Wee Ex Yi and Zee.

Sounds better, no?

Now I understand why the double you is pronounced that way. When you Look at it instead of Listen to it it looks a little bit like two "U"-s, side by side. UU, W.

So why not do the WHOLE alphabet that way?

Triangleman
Cleavage
Sideways Bag
Big Smile
Ant
Wounded ant
Waiter
Bed
Beam
Smirk
Perpendicularity
Upper fangs
Half fangs
Hole
Tongue
Diving board
Tongue Piercing
Snake
Table
Bag
Look down
Lower Fangs
Times
3way
Both ways

8 comments:

rbcp said...

I hate the X. Why do we need an X? Sure, it's a cool looking letter, but they could have given that look to one of the boring looking letters. Like Q or something.

Dana Cheryl said...

I think the reason we don't call the letters by their shapes is because it would take too long to sing the alphabet song! :)

Eyepoke said...

I screwed up and left "K" out of the shape-bet! It should be between Smirk and Perpendicularity. But I don't really know what K looks like. Beak to the wall?

Anonymous said...

Woodpecker. that's what letter k looks like!

J

Anonymous said...

Triangleman
Cleavage
Sideways Bag
Big Smile
Ant
Wounded ant
Waiter
Bed
Beam
Smirk
Woodpecker
Perpendicularity
Upper fangs
Half fangs
Hole
Tongue
Diving board
Tongue Piercing
Snake
Table
Bag
Look down
Lower Fangs
Times
3way
Both ways

Renae said...

K could be rewind to the beginning.

timpani76 said...

K would be a bug with two legs missing. C is a sideways cup. U is just a cup. E is a devil's fork.

Anonymous said...

I thought rewind was pretty clever for K.

Bag, Cup...

J