Daily GUIDE-ance:

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Last Meal

Isn't it kind of wasteful to give people on Death Row the "last meal"? Wouldn't it be better to donate that food to homeless people? So if you are a bum reading this, a good way to get a free meal might be to go to Death Row and ask the prisoner who is about to get fried if you can have his chicken, because, you know...

Also, if you are on Death Row, you really ought to think about giving away your last meal to someone who needs it more than you.

On the other hand, if you are selfishly eating your last meal, you should request that it be something really really unhealthy like blubber fried in lard, because- duh. On the other hand again, what if you get a last minute reprieve from the governor, and you have already eaten your lard?

If you are about to get the chair, another thing you ought to do is slide around in just your socks and when the guards come to get you, give them the biggest static electric shock you can.

Also, if they ask you if you have any last words, it might be good to ask if they have a time limit and then filibuster.

Also, when they strap you in but before they do anything else, you should go:

"GUH-UH-UH-UH-AAAAAA-AAAAA-AAAAAAA-AAAAAA-AAAAAA!" really loud, and shake as hard as you can, like the machine had gone off early by mistake. It might make them stop and waste some time checking it out, and it might gross someone out enough that... I dunno.

Or you could pretend to be someone else.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

If you have six fingers, which alot of people do you know, how do you flip someone off? Is it impossible? Can you do it with both middle fingers at once- well actually all four, if you use both hands? Does it mean extra if you do it that way? And while we are on the subject, does anyone know the name for a 2-d shape that is defined by four radii of any length, perpendicular to each other with a common starting point? Like this, I mean:

Like an elipse but off center.

Here's 2 more for no reason:

oh and liz left out my favorite one from the flesh drilling thing:

I was hoping that some one from church or a cop or someone would stop by and ask why my power tools were covered in blood but no one did.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Water found on moon!

So this is a pretty big deal. There's water on the moon, and it sounds like potentially alot of it. Wicked!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Time for some pain

I play as PurestTourist. Both these guys bailed on me after facing the positions shown. I'm so great!