Daily GUIDE-ance:

Saturday, November 29, 2008

More Wierdness!

I enjoyed in an odd way.

The other day I coined a phrase, and thought I was terribly funny: The new name for our country when noodle head boy takes over: Obama-nation. And everything he did would be Obaminable. I really thought I was incredibly funny. And I was! So how disappointed I was to see a book last night at Borders using the phrase: "Obamanation" as part of it's title. I hate it when people have my great ideas before me.

I also saw a Jesus Christ action figure... wrong on so many levels!
But if that's where we are going, where is the Pope action figure, and the Mohammed action figure and the Confucious Action figure and the Buddha Action figure? Or the Allah action figure? or the Garishnika action figure? (I just made up that name... it's supposed to be a Hindu diety... Shiva?) Quezatcoatal? Santa Claus action figure? (I'm thinking of the Catholic saint now, not the jolly guy)... Speaking of which, I have always thought that one of the best things about being Catholic would be being able to pray to Santa Claus.

The worst would be the celibate clergy! No offense if you happen to be Catholic, but can you think of a better formula for inducing complete Bugs Bunny suit insanity in your priests?

Friday, November 28, 2008

The day after Thanksgiving! This means we will all start receiving those hilarious emails forwarded from that special forwarder in your life- (I hope you have a forwarder in your life. Endless laughs.)- all about wounded animals and grumpy old men and poor little families and unexpected angelic visitations and lost little children and sudden snowstorms and all those other stock characters from the Amazing Cheese Christmas Comic Book!

Hey. That has a ring to it! I should write one!!

Anyhow. I have considered trying to write the world cheesiest most absurd Christmas email of all time, and then discreetly passing it on to a few gullible forward-happy souls, and then, like throwing a note in a bottle into the ocean, wait and see.

We could have a contest here at the JSFC, to see who could write/discover the sappiest/slappiest Christmas email. What would the prize be? Autographed photo perhaps?

Anyhow. Day before Thanksgiving our church's monthly magazine - the December edition- showed up. Now the December issue is filled with just the same sort of Christmas stories as the Amazing Cheese Comic Book email stories aspire to be.

Here is a link. If you want some real holiday soul butter- the good stuff- not the Amazing Cheese- (I like that phrase!) - read a few. They'll make you feel all toasty inside!

Or you'll hate it. But I will just go ahead an stick myself out on an emotional limb and say I luuuurve this issue. Deep down, especially in December, I'm a cuddly little cutie. It makes me all that much more attractive, I know. So intelligent, and manly and so very good looking, and terribly sweet to boot. Sorry, I'm married!

On further perusal, I find the following links to be the most Christmas specific articles in this month's Ensign:

LDS Voices

The Best Christmas Ever

How Could I Help?

Room in the Inn

Three Christmas Stories

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Prop 8

There's been so much buzz in the blogosphere about the people of California passing Prop 8, which constitutionally defined marriage as between one woman and one man, and the uncivil protesting that followed, that I want to drop my 2 cents here.

First off, I really hope that somebody reading this does not share my views. If that's you, I invite you to be cogent and logical, civil and polite and respond, if you can.

Here's some of why Prop 8 makes sense:

Redefining marriage to include gay relationships is not a small leap-its friggin' huge! It would be a much smaller leap to redefine marriage to include polygamist relationships, for example. In fact, there are plenty of people -the FLDS come to mind- who would fight to redefine marriage to include more than two spouses. I myself come from some polygamist stock, and to me polygamy makes 100% more sense that gay marriage. I don't want either though, and here's why:

After you have allowed gayness and polygamy, obviously you have to include polyandry (that's multiple husbands for one wife- I can never remember the word for it and had to look it up- sounds like "gang rape" to me...)

After that, the next logical step is to accept things like partnerships between two or three men and two or three women as equivalent to marriage. After that, what the freak? Where do you stop?

That's when we notice that "redefining" marriage didn't change marriage- it destroyed it.

Think about the problems a society without marriage (or with a sprained definition of it) would have. Custody battles. How do you determine who has authority over who's children without marriage? More importantly, how do you determine who has responsibility for the nurture and care and protection of which children? Long and short, without a clear, simple definition of marriage, these critical things cannot be determined without a cumbersome, lurching (and inherently cruel) bureaucratic process- in other words, children no longer really belong to or with anybody except to the state.

The basic equation is simple:

Marriage defined legally as between one man and one woman protects children. That's why it's good that Prop8 passed.

I just started the John Adams miniseires. (It's good BTW!) John Adams speaks at the end of episode one about certain rights and principles being pre-existant to the law. Somethings are simply true regardless of what any king, judge or law may or may not say about them. Marriage being a male/female relationship is one of those concepts.

Again, I do hope that this reaches somebody with differing views, and makes you think. If that's you, please don't get all crazy and hateful, like so many people who opposed Prop 8 are doing in Cali. Such behavior is babyish, hypocritical, devoid of clear thought, and reflects very poorly on their cause.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Chess Puzzle

Above is a postion from one of my recent games. I'm white, it's my move. Black has just moved his knight to threaten my rook. What ingenious game ending move did I make?

(I know, Renae, I know... I wanna roll with the gangsters.)

Friday, November 14, 2008


A quick addendum to the Atheism post:

"Unprovable" does not nessecarily mean "unknowable". It's kind of like the Matrix in that no one can tell you. You have to experience it for yourself.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

You may or may not have noticed my flobbering attempted at creating a Thankgiving themed playlist... The only thing I really am pleased with is the Boston version of the Star spangled banner. I wish somebody would come along and do for some of the classic patriotic hymns what Trans-Siberian Orchestra did to classic Christmas songs. I really like The Battle Hymn of the Republic- just not the version I was able to find below so much... I mean its ok for maybe church (church church church), but probably not really for battle.

I also really like Come Come Ye Saints... But a more rugged version would be swell. Those two songs- Battle Hymn and Come Come Ye Saints-- two opposite chapters of history paralleled and contrasted there. While most of America was doing the Civil War, half of my American ancestors were at thier ease and nicely exempt from the war, hiding out in the deep west, having a shot at building thier Utopia, glad that the US government was picking on itself for once instead of chasing them off thier land yet again.

Has anybody seen the John Adams miniseries that came out a year or so ago? I got disc one from Netflix the other day, but haven't started it. This weekend mebbe. Hope its good.

Is there anyone who hasn't watched Ken Burn's Civil War miniseries yet? Any library should have it. Watched it for the first time like 7 years ago- loved it. Reccomend it. And you feel so darn smart watching it. Smug even. "Look at me- I'm watching something deeply moving and intelectual! What are you doing? Eating twinkies? oooooo a LOOOOSER!"

Monday, November 10, 2008


Wen I was in Mexico, I woke up one morning to see that the tide, in going down, had left the beach littered for miles with thousands of starfish. I knew that these starfish would die if they were left out of the ocean for much longer so I quickly dressed and went down to the beach. (hmmm. It just now occurred to me that this story would be a lot more touching if I had substituted a little lame boy for myself as the protagonist. Maybe even a little lame orphan boy. Oh well, too late now!) As I was picking up these starfish and tossing them back into the life-giving ocean, an old man walked up to me.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Can’t you see that you are wasting your time? There are thousands of starfish stranded here on the beach. Far more than you can ever save. You can’t make a difference here."

I looked into that old man’s eyes. I reached out, picked up the old man and threw him into the ocean.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Michael Crichton

Michael Crichton died. Age 66. Cancer.
(Author. Jurassic Park.)

Liked his stuff! He put the Sci back in Sci-Fi. Probably my favorite of his was The Great Train Robbery. I'm not attached to him like I was to Fred Saberhagen, but his was a one of a kind talent.

Anyhow, turns out he was a funny dude. You should check out this little thing I read about him. Should make you laugh.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

America has BO!

While everybody (except Brad - thank Bob one of us is still sane!) is all wrapped up in this political jag, allow me to share two moments that I found funny. I hope this doesn’t come across as too mean spirited… but come on!- funny is funny, everybody’s silly feelings aside!

1) I read it on someone's blog:
"I’m cool with Obama… I just worry about some of the other Dem(ocrats) who got in on his shirttails who may be inexperienced or incompetent -even the newspapers said so!"

2) A neighbor admitted to me that he voted for BO because : "I, ya know, believe in hope and change and the future"


A quick note on atheism before I move on to other things:

It's true of course that the existance or non-existance of a God, or gods can not be proved. That's a given.

The mistake alot of atheists make is to think that being an atheist is to be free of religon. They are not. The conviction that there is no god is a religious belief.

What do I mean by that? Just that it's an unprovable assumption, based on the small evidence that a person can see from limited perspective of a human life span on a teeeny speck of a planet in a dwarfish galaxy in a crazy huge universe. Just like a christian's assumption that Jesus is real, or a hindu's assumption that reincarnation happens.

An agnostic- one who "reserves judgement" - now that I can understand. But to think that you can somehow "know" that there is no God is ... rather closeminded. There might be one or two you know...

And either way, a person is not defined by their opinions and guess work as to how the universe is or is not structured. A person is defined by their actions.

Pure religon is the path a person walks. It's the way you chose to live and interact with everyone else. Cosmology has little to do with it.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Don't Watch

I asked Liz not not watch this- not because it's gory or anything-- just because it's so sad. But if you voted for whatshisface, you should definately watch this.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Well, Im going to bed. 9:30pm. If the queer wins in the morning, well, McCain would have been better, but it'll be easier to get a real canidate in in 4 on the Rep side than on the Demside. If McCain wins, at least we dont have a baby eater as president.

You all should know that my view is that the most significant issue in our generation is the abortion issue. It's been a while since I posted something related to my abolitionist views... I've been in a very nice slack mode for the last several months... but I think, now that the election is almost over- lol- it may be time to strap on the armor again.

I have tons of material... not just preaching, but real, actual thinking...

But tonight is not the time for it.

I can't believe that my mom thinks BHO is ok... Does anybody live life not half asleep anymore? What's the line from Dune?

Paul:"You dare suggest that the son of a Duke is an animal?"
The Reverend Mother: "Let's say I suggest that he might be human."

Are people really anything other than sheep?

Physics teaches that there are 4 fundamental forces in the universe. 4 reasons why things happen.

1) The electromagnetic force
2) Gravity
3) The Strong force (whatever that is- it acts only at an atomic level anyway)
4) The Weak force (ditto)

My suspiction is that there is another "force" -

5) The will; that is to say : agency

Phillip Jose Farmer, the scifi writer once explained it like this:

Do people really have "choice", or do the laws of physics predestine everything? Are our actions governed entirely by our biology and chemistry, or can we choose to act in a way contrary to nature? We feel like we have choice... but is that feeling anything other than an illusion?

Farmer's answer was : "People have free will. They just don't use it much"

I think that's true.

Many religions use fasting- the practice of deliberately skipping a few meals- as a means of empowering the spirit. In away this makes sense: deliberately excerising the will to oppose your simple physical chemistry.

It's 10:00 now. I'm for bed. Go McCain. Go BHO- to Yyfarn- to be slowly digested over 1000 years.

Al Gore reminded me of Agent Smith (Miister Anderson!)
John Kerry looked like a member of he undead
John Edwards- kinda like an alien in a stolen human body (give me sugar. in wa-ter)
Hilary- clearly a witch
BHO- what can I say? The AntiChrist.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

I'm voting for McCain. I think he's a doof, but Obama is a genuine, certifiable, padded walls, straight jacket, Bugs Bunny suit Lunatic.

But seriously, aside from the teeney weeney baby killing matter , and his terrorist connections, and his drug habit, and his pyschotic black supremicist religon, and amazing lack of experience, the basic equation is terribly simple:

I want the government that is going to mess with my life the least!

And while McCain wants to mess with stuff, Obama wants to micromanage the country at a cellular, sub-atomic level. Laws governing the movements and color of quarks and gluons and all that really little stuff. I hope they take him away and make him into glue. As glue, he'd probably have his finest hour.