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Thursday, October 2, 2008


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Well it's like this: Every Halloween season for since like the last 2 billion geologic epochs, I have felt like I should be doing something major for it. And every year the holiday slips by with me not showing it proper respect. Back before I had kids Todd and Trent and I used to hang out on Mom and Dad's roof in black clothes scaring all the trick or treaters as they passed underneath us. That was great fun. I remember one year we almost caused one trick or treater's mom to go into labor... and I am not even sure she was pregnant, so pretty impressive, no? And always we would wind up making one little kid cry in terror... sad but that's just colateral damage. One crying child a year is worth it to me. Plus, it builds character.

And afterwards I would lie in bed, eating candy and treasuring each scream, replaying the best ones over and over in my mind.

Then I had kids and suddenly I had responsibilties. This may make me a bad parent, but I found taking my toddlers trick or treating to be nice, in away, but it just wasn't near as fun as scaring people from Mom's roof. For instance last year was a complete waste of cheese for Halloween. Sorry if any of the perfectly nice yet boring adults that I am about to malign read this: You all are perfectly nice, yet a bit boring. Liz somehow arranged for us to go trick or treating with some church people last year that I didn't really know all that well. Businessy types. Corporate Americans. I showed up dressed as the grim reaper's cruel older brother, and spent the night listening to the dad's talk about cars and work and football. So I killed one of them as an example to the rest.

This year though the stars are aligning for me. Jonni is old enough to take a decent scare. I am back in this part of the world where I have Todd and Trent to join in my evil plans. And I am grown up, and can now do all those things that I wished I could when I was a kid for Halloween- things like... well i don't want to give it all away yet, but for instance--- If I decide to dig a pit in my backyard, or set something on fire, Mom can't stop me. If I decide I need some scary props- I can buy them.

I have a lot of enthusiasm and I have a plan. (it is crap, would you like to buy a toothbrush?)

9 comments:

lizS said...

he is absolutely obsessed with this party, lol!

The Marinator said...

I love the scary sound effects.

pie-seas79 said...

what's this about a halloween party?

timpani76 said...

Vance is stoked about it too ;)

Anonymous said...

It's the greatest thing of all time!! I only regret, Colista, that your kids are too far away for me to scare. You too Mary.

J

Bruce said...

i sing the song of the dead!

The Marinator said...

I'm grateful personally, my children are a little bit wimpy. Love 'em, but they are little wimps.

Brad Carter said...

I should start visiting Illinois during Halloween instead of the summers.

Eyepoke said...

that'd be cool.