Daily GUIDE-ance:

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

homo sapiens minimus

I’m a snob.
I hate humans.

I think I am going to make up a name to distinguish myself and other, more evolved people from
the walmart people. I don’t think Homo Sapiens really applies to a lot of you slobs out there. You are Homo- as in human- technically, genetically speaking, but you are defiantly not all that sapient. Maybe what I will do is call us smart people homo sapiens and call all the dumb people something else. Homo Stupideuos. Homo Gluteus Maximus. Homo sapiens minimus. Yeah, I think I am getting some where. Because since we can technically interbreed with the morons and produce viable young, I suppose we are really one species, but they should probably have a different sub species name. Homo sapiens minimus- "Marginally thinking man. "

"You know I’ve noticed an infestation around here. Everywhere I look in fact. Nothing but underevolved, barely conscious pondscum, totally convinced of their own superiority as they scurry about their short, pointless lives!"

That was the Bug from MIB. Talking to the exterminator.

" Well, yeah--- don’tcha wanna get rid of em?"
"Oh, in the worst way!"

I can relate. Does that make me a monster?

Speaking of monsters, is it morally wrong for vampires to kill people? As long as they use them for food, how is it worse than us eating cows? Not that I think we should be vegetarians. So a cow dies. Big frickin deal. Who cares about a cow? Not me. It’s sad in a small way for the cow’s friends, but steak and hamburgers are good, and a little emotional pain to a cow is worth it to me.

But does that still apply for a vampire? Not that I am going to let them eat me anyway. But still…

And the stupid people? Is it so wrong to just kill ‘em? Would it make it more ok if we ate them?

WWJD? Maybe I need to hate the stupidity, love the stupids? I suppose when I achieve true enlightenment, I'll do that.


timpani76 said...

What would you be John? Homo-Arrogance? Homo-ladidadida?

There are no stupid people, just stupid drivers.

Brad Carter said...

It'd be great if we could think of a way to somehow increase the number of stupid people killed by stupid accidents. Like the people featured on www.darwinawards.com

The TV show Jackass did a pretty great job of hurting people by making them want to recreate their "hilarious" stunts. Influencing stupid people in the same way to actually remove them from the gene pool permanently would be the ideal thing.

Like this football movie I remember that came out in the early 90's. One scene had a scene in it where the players layed in middle of a busy road, on the double yellow lines, as the cars quickly passed by them on either side. It was to teach them to be fearless, I guess. Soon after this movie was released, some idiotic football players tried it in real life with predictable results.

Let's not rename the less evolved people, let's destroy them! Please spare me, though, okay?

Dana Cheryl said...

LOL... Wal-mart people. I know what you're talking about. Maybe you could just give them a mark of the beast kinda thing then quarantine them. It's a thought. Killing millions of people would be messy.

Anonymous said...


Football players are funny. Even after we destroy the rest of them, we should keep a few football players as an exhibition, so we could all make fun of them. We could build little domes to keep them segergated from the real people. We could feed them and stuff, it would be worth it for the amusement. Give them a pretty good, free life style and just let them go out in thier domes and play football.

Wait wait- thats what we are doing now! That was easy... now for the "destruction" part of the plan.


timpani76 said...

And we should keep engineers in little roofless boxes and make them fix our stuff and design space ships to Mars....oh wait

Bruce said...

ok, after that last one i realy like timpani. not that i didnt like them befor but now, wow that was great.
i dont think we should kill the stupid ones. but a big wall with them on the other side could come in handy.

Brad Carter said...

How about requiring everyone to take a test and all who fail are shipped to Alaska forever. Or maybe just all the middle managers, hairdressers, telephone sanitizers, and the like.

Ever seen the movie Idiocracy? It shows that we're all doomed to live in a future ruled by morons.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of which, I just moved into a great great cube! Huge window! off the beaten path, so I am harder to spy on. And it has a secret passage. Really it does.

T-dog, I assume you were barefoot and in the kitchen when you wrote that?

The problem with arraigning a stupid test is that probably somebody stupid will get put in charge of making up the test. Thats the problem with all tests- they are not capable of accurately assessing smarts that exceed the testmakers.

I think something that is nice and self-selective, like the darwin awards is the best plan. Like start a bunch of rumours on the internet that kill the people dumb enough to believe them. Of maybe just sterilize them.

For instance, send out a chain email that says that if you pray to Saint Elicembi in the middle of a lightning storm, on the top a really tall church $2,000,000 will come your way.


Bruce said...

2,000,000!!! realy? how do you pronounce that name. i want to make sure i pray to the right person.

timpani76 said...

I concoct my best secret plans to take over the world while barefoot in the kitchen...mwahahahahaha

How does a cube have a secret passage? I am now intrigued.