Daily GUIDE-ance:

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Twitter. I'm not home. This computer is wierd. I just made up a story about a little old man with a little old house on a little old hill eating his little old dinner one night, and he hears this swishy swishy noise outside in the woods. So he grabs a flashlight an a pitchfork (both little and both old)(and he grabs them one at a time hearing the swishy swishy noise in between) and winds up on his little old porch swing waiting for the monster to come out of his woods. Unfortunately he falls asleep.

...getting scary now...

The monster does come out of the woods. It sneaks up on the sleeping old little man and licks him. (swishy swishy all the while, see?) The man sleeps through it all though. Lucky for him, the monster decides that on the whole, he would prefer to eat the man with a little old salt and pepper. So he swishes into the little old house and finds the little old salt and the little old pepper shakers. He has a lick with salt. The man sleeps on. He shakes on some pepper. This makes the man give a little old sneeze. He wakes up.

Everyone freaks out.

The little man grabs his old pitchfork and chases the monster, swishy swishy, into his little old bedroom. The monster locks the man out and looks for a place to hide. the man grabs his little old crowbar and bashes in the little old door.

The monster is nowhere to be seen. The man checks everywhere and decides to go to sleep. Then he notices that there is something cold and gooey and swishy touching his toes. So he kicks around, gets comfortable and falls asleep.

What do you think the cold gooey thing is?

Well if you guessed the monster... Good Thinking!

It trys to eat the old man's little old toes. This wakes him up. The old man ties the monster up in his covers, ties the covers shut with a rope, slings the rope over a tree limb and lets the monster dangle till sunrise. He gets a new blanket and goes to sleep.

This is what I told my kids for a bed time story tonight. Jonni liked it. Erik was asleep on the porch swing.

The End


timpani76 said...

You are never allowed to tell my kids bedtime stories. Just so you know.

pie-seas79 said...

HAHHHAHHHAAAAAA! That's great! you should write a book.

Dana Cheryl said...

Are you M. Night Shamalamadingdong? His movies are inspired by stories he makes up for his kids...

This one would probably make more $ than Lady in the Water.

Anonymous said...

Well, glad to amuse!... Its suggestive isn't it how many kids story books end with the main character falling asleep. (even the harry potter epic ends that way although I can't imagine reading the whole thing just to get a kids to fall asleep. There is such a thing as ether. Ether is an anagram for there- hah!) well that is hp ends that way if you don't count the epilogue... im babbling. I love babbling..


Everyone Admires Mary said...

HEY! SOME people have never read HP!

Eyepoke said...

What and now I wrecked the ending for you?

Everyone Admires Mary said...

Yes you did! A pox on you!