Daily GUIDE-ance:

Sunday, July 13, 2008


Aaaargh! Too much serious stuff posted by me lately! It makes me feel ill. I like to be serious, but not for tooo long.

You remember my ditch that I wanted to explore? Brad came all the way from Oregon to help me explore it this week. It was great. It goes about a mile I would say, above ground before it dumps into a pretty cool creek, (like I thought it would). We took the kids and Liz maybe half way there. Erik and Jonni loved it, especially Erik. No neighbors saw us that I am aware of, although it was broad daylight and we were fairly exposed much of the time. Then we came back (using the secret passage I made into my backyard)(really) and dumped the kids in bed and Brad and I left Liz and went and finished exploring...

...ah... this is such a relief to be writing about something unserious. Life is a test. It is only a test. If this were an actual life you would have been born with more instructions...

The creek was pretty cool. I almost fell in. We might have explored it more thoroly, but Brad had his pockets full of electronics. (Very Brad). Even so, we explored enough of it to decide it is a pretty cool place. An isolated patch of semiwilderness in the middle of civilization. We headed back and that was when the real adventure began.

I would not have done this without Brad, but he thought we should explore the ditch going the other direction from my yard. I think you should be told that in the other direction, the ditch is completely underground. A tunnel, you know. Probably 4.5 feet in diameter. There was graffiti on the walls for 15- 20 feet and then it ended. Not too many people had explored that far back, apparently. (We hadn't brought any means of grafitiing ourselves.)

So I'm hunched over like Igor in this tunnel, holding the flashlight, doing a duck walk trying to keep a foot on either side of the stream of drainage water running down the middle of the tunnel. Brad is in the lead. We pass up several side tunnels that a crazy could have squirmed into, if they didn't care too much about whether or not they got stuck there. The water is getting deeper. I just give up and slosh along in the middle of it. It's hardish to walk with your feet on a curved floor/wall. The light behind us is still visible if you look, but it no longer sheds light, if you get my drift. At least the tunnel is not taking any curves. It occurs to me that I haven't hung out with Brad in years- no make that decades- and for all I know he could be a serial killer now. I beat him to the punch by telling him that I am one.

I would have wussed out pretty soon without Brad there, but he spotted a light of sorts ahead and we decide to make for it.

The light turns out to be the underside of a manhole. It took us a minute to figure that out. They look different from underneath. At this point, neither of us have any idea where we are. Brad sticks his GPS out the sewer opening to get a signal and it tells us that we have crossed the street I live on at least, but more than that is hard to say. So I shove up the manhole cover and stick my head out.

My head is at ground level. I am peering over grass and weeds at the back of a building I do not recognize. There is a car facing us. With some scrambling, we heave ourselves out. Once I am on my feet the world looks more normal and I figure out where we are. There is a parked car facing us that drives off. They don't pay us any mind.

So, I think we covered about 150-200 yards underground. We crossed a street, and passed beneath my front lawn and my neighbors front and back lawns and the length of the JW church parking lot. Brad and I haven't really done anything together since we were about 14. Crawling out of the manhole was such a blast. We went home and impressed Liz with how filthy we were. Then we dorked around on You-tube and got my cat to chase a laser light all over the living room.

Having Brad around again is the coolest! Definitely going to have to do more of this. So glad everything crashed at work that day several months back, leaving me with nothing to do but surf the net, plugging old friend's names into the search engine. It was Fate!

Oh, I picked his 8 year old up by the ears the other day. He thought it was funny, yet painful. And I tried to make his 12 year old girl like me. I think I succeeded somewhat, but she got hit in the face with a ball of some sort, right as I was trying to drown her in my parent's pool. One thing I have learned about the ladies during my many years of flirtatiousness is that getting them hit with something in the face while you are drowning them is often a non-ideal ice breaker. Oh well. Good Times!

Weather's here, Wish you were beautiful!


Eyepoke said...

What a relief! I may never write about anything serious again!

Bruce said...

hey, what about me. i would have gone urban spulunking. i would love to skip school and go play with sticks at the park too(one of my fav john memories). i think you suck for not taking me with you. you didn't even see if i could come. why, oh why must you be such an insensative (i would normally put a swear word in here) person. but next time im there i would love to wander down the creek. maybe we can make a damn and go swimming. or go fishing. or i could drown you.

Renae said...

yeah, I'm a bit jelous too. Sounds cool, but I could never go there by myself. Sounds like a good place to get raped.

Brad Carter said...

My hope is that you won't be ambitious enough to explore it any further so that when I return in a year or two, we can walk through it for miles. If it goes on for miles, that is. It was worth ending it, though, just for the experience of climbing out of a manhole.

I hope we end up getting together again before the week is over! Don't worry, neither of my kids have said one bad thing about you. I think they're too traumatized and are repressing the memories.

Brad Carter said...

By the way, having a secret tunnel that begins in your back yard is the coolest feature of any house I've ever been to! I hope the realtor used it as a selling point when showing you the house.

timpani76 said...

Yes, why don't more houses have secret tunnels?

Also, creeks are the funnest thing ever. I had one way behind my house from about 7 years old on. My cousins also had one near their house. Hours and hours of endless fun.

timpani76 said...

There's a good place to get raped?

Everyone Admires Mary said...

Timpani, you make me laugh! "There's a good place to get raped?!"

Dana Cheryl said...

What can I add? I think it's all been said... :)