I have a huge drainage ditch behind my house. It runs for at least a mile, probably more, behind all the houses in my neighborhood. People build little foot bridges across it or even erect sheds over it. It’s seriously huge. 4-5 foot deep at least and 3-4 feet wide. Its like a damp sunken sidewalk. In fact I know that a lot of kids around here use it for a sidewalk because they have left a lot of graffiti and also I caught some of them hiding in it spying on me recently. I think I acted sufficiently weirdly that they don’t want to mess with me.
My problem is that I dearly want to explore this thing. It’s clearly the best place to look if I want to find vampires, werewolves, extra-dimensional portals, buried treasure, secret passages, skeletons etc. If I were a kid, I’d have explored it thoroughly by now. Unfortunately, I only have this one body, you see, and it looks pretty darn grown-up somehow, and if the neighbors spot me climbing around in the drainage ditch in their back yard they are going to assume I am a child molester or something.
Its big enough that I could possibly hide while I explored it, but then if I get caught, I look like a child molester with a guilty conscience. I could go at night- same problem- or wear a mask-even worse- or both- but with my luck someone will call the cops and I’ll wind up in jail.
I have a partial solution, and that is to get me an orange safety vest, a hardhat and a clipboard and act like I am doing something official, but I don’t have any of that stuff, and it sounds like a waste of $$ just to avoid being embarrassed. I am JCS after all. I think I am going to tackle it at night.