Daily GUIDE-ance:

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The shelf life of funny and the inside of my head

Something Renae said recently reminded me of something else that happen once, a while ago.

It was very funny indeed at the time, but it will never translate into words without ceasing to be funny at all.

It was when Bruce used to have a habit of saying : "I have great hunger, welling from within!" every time he got hungry, instead of just saying "Pass the sandwich" like the boring people of the world. He used this phrase often enough that one time, when he, Renae and I were together and he only said the first half :"I have great hunger", and I asked "Where is it welling from?" it made Renae laugh alot, which made me proud of my quick wit.

See? Not very funny when I tell it that way.

That in turn got me to thinking of other things that I am sillyly proud of having thought to say, on account of making people laugh with them. (I love when people laugh at my jokes. Its one reason Chris LaBoube is so easy to get along with. He laughs at everything.) Stuff that was hilarious at the time, but will not be funny now as I tell them in print. Oddly the next two things I thought of both involve Colista.

The first one was when Jerry Bench- (the director of the City of Joseph which for those of you who dont know used to be >: a huge historic/churchish musical that my family used to be in almost every summer) announced over the PA that we should all turn any props we had found in to the lost and found. I deadpanned :"I found a stage." Colista thought it was hilarious, and I still, years later, replay that scence in my mind occasionally. But it probably isn't all that funny written out.

The other one was when her and I and others, after the show found ourselves reading the outside of an empty bag of popcorn. "Buttery!" "Fresh!" "Painful!". It didn't say "Painful" on the bag, but I got laughs again.

The other day a guy at work began laughing for no obvious reason, so several of us asked him what was up. "Oh- nothing really" said he.

I asked if it was one of those things that are really funny inside your head but if you say it out loud it won't be funny anymore, but instead it would only make you look daft?

Yes, pretty much he said.

I'm like that all the time. After 34 years of being on this planet, I am starting to get a grip on which things to say outloud, and which things to keep in my head only. I have alot of "keep in head onlys". It makes it hard to interact with other Earth people sometimes; I am so very different from the general mass of blithering blubber of humanity. I can admit that now.(So are most of you, my dear readers. That's a compliment, if you like. )

For instance I just deleted a story about the random things I think, because I am afraid you would all get seriously worried about me, and it might hurt my evantual bid for the presidency. NO NO -I WON'T TELL YOU!

I started playing chess again, tenatively. Its risky for me. I quit years ago because I became so obsessive and touchy. And I lost far too much. So far so good though.


lizS said...

do you know, he giggles in his sleep too. and when i ask him "what's so funny?" he always says "no, you wouldn't get it" and totally won't tell me. i think that's funny he does it waking too!

pie-seas79 said...

Okay, this is too stinkin funny! I remember both of those instances and they don't sound as good in print as when you were actually in the moment, of this you are correct. LOL good times, good times. I have this problem of saying most everything I think in my head and not ever letting any other humans hear it for fear that I will be committed to an insane asylum...and I would never be able to convince anyone there to let me out. Horrifying. Yep, I delete most everything I type and then go back and edit it so it will appeal to ALL the masses! It's just all one big mental ward where I come from...

Bruce said...

the thing about chris is so true. i almost made him wet his pants on time just by looking at him and saying "the letter Q!" i totally have the "for my head only" stuff. you guys hear the stuff that comes out so you know that if i decided that it needed to be filtered it must be... well... "for my head only." i like being part of the seperate demention that only some people can access. it gets me into trouble on occation but it is fun.

Renae said...

I really want to hear your random thoughts. I bet I'll laugh. Don't we all have those moments. Something will just strike my funny bone and I'll giggle, but I can't explain it to anyone. Or I'll get the urge to do just outrageous things, that no sane person would EVER do. I'm not sure urge is the right word, the thought just occurs to me that it would be hillarious if I did whatever it may be. Its usually something horribly socially backwards. I can't think of any examples at the moment. Anyway, it always makes me laugh to myself.

Renae said...

We sit in front of a certain person, at church, who... -how to say- Well anyway, this person's brain to mouth filter doesn't appear to exist. He just says whatever occurs to him. He also doesn't seem to know how to whisper. He makes commentary throughout the service, not LOUDLY, but certainly audibly. It cracks me up, from time to time. Like, (I'm sure I told John about this, but some of you other folks haven't heard it.) Like the time that someone in the ward had their new baby girl blessed. After the blessing, the bishop says "What a sweet, angel baby girl!" My friend behind us says "Well that won't last long!" Or a couple of weeks ago, Dad said the opening prayer in sacrament meeting, and rambled on I guess longer than my friend behind us prefers. When the prayer was over he says "Sure took you long enough!" He's a hoot to sit in front of.

timpani76 said...

I think the filter inside my head breaks down sometimes. I tend to say things, at least to my friends and siblings, that people should probably not say out loud, even if the happen to think them.

The phrase "you had to be there" is said so often because it is so true. I think that's why siblings and longtime friends often find the same things funny, because they have been there for lots of them.

Eyepoke said...

Speaking of things that make sense inside one's head only, Liz mentioned to me that Bruce on the phone, recently indicated that he still thought he had made a valid point about Indiana Jones being #1 for almost two weeks. Both of us were genuinely and deeply suprized that he thought that, it being a pretty vague, unimportant, tangential point to begin with, and subsequent discussion destroying even that small amount relevence...

Eyepoke said...

Colista- Hilarious, yet gratifying that you also remember both those small moments of sillyness!

I share your concern that if people knew what I am actually thinking alot of the time that they would just think I was too wierd to be sane and free.

Am I right in thinking that Timpani's concern, and Bruce's too, is that when the filter gets turned off people will start to think you are a jerk? (No offense meant there)

Bruce said...

there would be "blood and horror like you can not imagine."

timpani76 said...

When the filter gets turned off, the crazy person, with her weird theories, comes out like a plague on the world!

Erik says tact is not my strong point. But really, what is the difference between tact and dishonesty?

lizS said...

here's the difference; (and i've spent my life learning this because tact is not my gift either)
1.knowing when to keep your mouth shut because even if that person really did do a crappy job on (fill in the blank here) telling them so won't do near as much good as it does bad.
2.knowing how to critique someone WITHOUT hurting their feelings. instead of saying "you know, that was awful. your really ought to have done a, b and c" say, "i can tell you really put alot of work into that! the effort really shows. all it needs is a little tweak in this area, and it would be class A perfect!" or some such.
i am not perfect of course, and when i'm with a friend who i know will not take offense or get their feelings hurt, i am much less careful. but i think tact is worth cultivating.

Anonymous said...

Honesty is misunderstood and overrated.

timpani76 said...

Oooh, Liz and John are ganging up on me!

Tact is fine, but I still think honesty takes more courage, and you won't convince me otherwise!

Bruce said...

you can be honst and tactful. some times honesty can hurt.

timpani76 said...

You can refrain from speaking, there's nothing dishonest about that. But, if someone says "does this make me look like Barney?" and it does, I don't really know a way around that.

Dana Cheryl said...

It's interesting that we're having this conversation. I've been pondering this same topic for a couple of weeks.

A few months ago a new friends asked me something along the lines of how she could make more friends. What a question! She asked me to consider her personality and point out anything that may help her as she only had myself and another girl whom she could name as friends.

I didn't answer immediately but after a couple of weeks I made some suggestions.

Not a good idea... Some folks just can't hear the truth. I've always been a firm believer that anything can be said so long as it's said with love and pure intentions. I still believe that but I've come to realize that there are people in the world that cannot hear what is said. They only hear what they think is said. It will be impossible for them to see past their own perceptions which their experiences have colored.

If the person cannot look past their perception nothing we say no matter how well intentioned will be able to have a positive, meaningful impact.

I thrive on honest encouragement & criticism... However, I had an entire town disown me in public so maybe it doesn't effect me in the same way as it does other people. I don't know really but I will be extremely careful of what I say to others even if they ask for my honest opinion.

Let me apologize for the length of the post... But what are ya gonna do to me? Stone me?! :)

Love to all!

Eyepoke said...

Interesting tale, Dana!

Timpani wrote:

"Tact is fine, but I still think honesty takes more courage, and you won't convince me otherwise!"

Ah, COURAGE- another misunderstood and abused virtue!

The fact is, just because a thing takes courage to do does not mean it is a good thing to do. Actually, 9 times out of ten it means just the opposite. It would take alot of courage for me to take crack, spit on a cop, or go to work naked this morning, but all would be abyssmally foolish.

If you are about to do something and find that it is going to require courage to do it, it's probably nature/your guardian angel telling you not to be so stupid.

Renae said...

Hmm, interesting stuff. I guess it does depend on the person receiving the information. I, for the most part am a "If you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all." kind of person. I gave my two cents worth once, and it turned out very badly. Of course, I was angry at the time, and didn't handle the situation so well, so that is at least partially my fault.

I THINK that I would like some honest criticism. I think that I can handle it. It would be refreshing for a change. So, tentitively I say "Fire away." (I'm a little scared now, but I am prepared.)

Bruce said...

on the whole people getting into trouble for telling the truth. i beleave it was albus dulbledore who said some thing to the effect "it is sometimes easyer to for give some one for being wrong than it is to for give them for being right."
one of my problems is that i dont get mortaly offended very often. i may get mad at you for something but i usually get over it fiarly quickly. the reason that is a problem is that i expect every one else to be the same way. i have people in my life that are overly sensitive. i used to walk on egg shells arround them. i ruined family functions and even a vacation. i refuse to do it any more. i dont activly try to insult them but i dont try to act contrary to my nature eigther.

Renae said...

I am making an editor's note here. When Bruce wrote "i ruined family functions..." He meant to type "IT ruined family functions..."

lizS said...

again, i'm going to repeat, you can be honest and tactful at the same time. tact is the art of, again, knowing when to just keep your mouth shut, and softening the blow of brutal truth. it can be done, with love and the spirit. you can be totally honest with out being blunt. it's hard, and again, i'm not perfect, but i really and truly think the world could use more people who think carefully about what they say and how they say it. and, as i think dana and john both expressed well, a vast majority of the time silence is best.

timpani76 said...


The courage that I'm talking about is the courage to do what is right, not what's ridiculous.

I'm not going to tell my sisters that I think their drinking is ok. I'm going to let my mother know when she has gone too far (which she does all the time).

Also, I think the courage I'm talking about is the courage most mormons have: to do what's right even if it hurts other, or goes against social conventions. I always think of 2 Timothy 1:7-8 when I think of the courage of mormons.

I will try to develop more of Liz's tact though ;)


You are going to have to blog about being disowned by a whole town! I would love to hear that story. Was that when you joined the church. I'm sorry your friend could not handle the truth! You really are one of the bravest people I know though! I've never heard of someone who gave up so much for the church, and went on a mission!

lizS said...

sensitivity! that's the word i've been looking for! to just blurt out an uncomfortable or hurtful truth is, in my opinion, the epitomy of thoughtless and inconciderate. to think first, to weigh the other person's feelings first, is the epitomy of love and sensitivity! the world needs more people full of sympathy and sensitivity! there. that's what i've been trying to say. or, that too. i meant the other stuff as well.

timpani76 said...

Oh, so I'm not tactless I'm insensitive? I see how it is :)

lizS said...

actually, in a nutshell, i think being tactless is being insensitive. (and, just by reading that sentence, you see that i have not mastered this particular art yet. :)) some people have a natural talent for it, but it is something that can be learned. so i don't think that you can use the excuse of "well, tact is just not my thing" to be insensitive. and i'm also not say that you, or me or anyone, are insensitive on purpose. speaking for me only, it's just something that i need to work on. i know it, and i am continually working on it. i think that that's what really counts. that you don't just cop out, but you put some effort into change. and maybe here's another truth to having tact; knowing when you've hurt someone, and apologizing!!

lizS said...

"The courage that I'm talking about is the courage to do what is right, not what's ridiculous."

Obviously- but can you tell the difference between the two? My point is that there are lots of people who can't.


Anonymous said...

That was me not Liz duh-


Anonymous said...

One other point- I think that those who most freely dish out criticism tend to be those least able to take it in return.

Or perhaps more accurately they tend to have an inflated opinion of their ability to take it.


Anonymous said...

This was not at all where I foresaw this conversation going.


timpani76 said...

Ok, criticism is usually NOT asked for, while an honest answer to a stated question IS. I think the answering the questions part is where I get into trouble.

In reference to this topic, and something Renae said on her blog...How does Bruce answer the age old question "does this make me look fat?"

Bruce said...

it depends on what she is asking about. most normally its not and issue because renae looks great and she has a body image problem so anny thing that would even remotly not look good gets automaticly chucked and i am not even asked. but i would absolutly tell her if some thing did not look great on her. i think the way i usually put it is like "i might choose to wear something different" or "that may not be the best thing for you." but you have to know your audience to. renae would be mad at me if i let her go out in something that looked bad. i have never been one for hideing the truth from people. its usually beter to know. but like every one has said, how to word the truth is the hard part. with my cousin, i tell him flat out about stuff. he has drug issues. i told him he has some thing wrong that he needs to figure out. that is why he is takeing drugs. he is trying to fill a hole. i have been very blunt with him. but he knows i care deeply for him and want him to be healthy and happy and that i am trying to moove him in a good direction. he is one of the very few men that i have told them that i love them. i tells me thank you and calls me for pep talks from time to time. so its not nessasarily what you say. its how you say it and that the person your saying it to knows your intent.

timpani76 said...

"I suppose you think you're brave."

"Only compared to some."

Dana Cheryl said...

Timpani, I'm really not that brave. I think a more apt description would be naive. Yes that did happen when I joined the Church but I had no idea how it was all going to go down. I figured it would be hard but that turned out to be an understatement.

The truth is the truth. I'd rather live in the truth than live a lie.

I have yet to prove I'm courageous. Maybe someday the opportunity will present itself. Hopefully after I've gained some courage. :)

Til then I'll go on living my life not wanting to offend but not worrying what people think about me either...