- A man walks into a bar. He becomes an alcoholic and his wife leaves him. He loses everything and dies of liver disease.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To be crushed beneath the wheels of a speeding semi.
- Your mom's so fat she has type 2 diabetes!
- Knock knock. Who's there? A serial killer disguised as the meter-reader.
- A traveling salesman stops at an old farmhouse one night, looking for a place to stay. The farmer says no. He walks for miles, alone in the cold.
*These also might be good to tell to the Overly Pious.