Daily GUIDE-ance:

Thursday, May 8, 2008

A few of my favorite things

Rain. I like it. Liz thinks it’s weird that a really dank, overcast, damp morning makes me unusually cheerful. Today is a rainy day. I love it. Blame it on growing up in the Midwest. That’s one theory, although I know a lot of fellow Midwesterners that don’t feel this way. A hold over from working construction, when a rainy day could mean a surprise day off? Maybe, but I think I have always felt this way. Sometimes I think it might be traceable to my Viking ancestors. (ok… I don’t know for sure that I actually have any of these. The only reason I think I do is 1-my family tree all traces back to places that border on the North sea- Deutschland, England, Ireland, Scotland, Denmark, Sweden. 2-I feel it in my gut. I have always preferred a brute force approach to solving problems.)

I just went outside a bit ago. Its wet spring time. Everything is growing in a brutal, unregulated fashion. Weeds shoving themselves up rudely in patches of gravel. Grass trying to rip out concrete. Spring is a time of conquest. Nature trying to overthrow civilization.

You know another thing that makes me weirdly cheerful? The end of the world. Doomsday. Ragnarok. The Apocalypse. Global Warming (ha ha). The Next Ice Age. I love the idea of it all crashing down. Civilization, that is. I liked I am legend, The stand, the new die hard movie, Aeon Flux- cause they all talk about BIG CRASH scenarios. Do you know what movie I really loved? Battlefield Earth. Yeah you could make fun of it, but I loved it. I love the idea of coming down out of the hills in 100 years and exploring what’s left of the mall. They are finally doing something to the old Kmart in Woodriver that has been abandoned for 20+ years. There is a large patch of its parking lot that has slowly been turning back into a field for a decade or so now. I have been rooting for it. It fascinates me. I can’t explain it.

Yeah I know. If civilization goes down, Liz will die and so will probably most of my family. (maybe even me). And there will be no internet and no trips to Mars, and there will be a whole lot of suck. True, true if you wanna be a pessimist. But there will also be no John McCain, Hilary Clinton or Barak Obama. Doesn’t that sound GREAT!!!!!?!?!?!?!? I guess I just really like the idea of starting over. A clean slate. Death and carnage. Thinning out the gene pool. No trial lawyers. No speeding tickets. Nobody dying of old age on death row. No psychologists. Therapy consists of cutting the bad guy’s head off. No McDonalds. No TV. No such thing as inside. Great tans. Long hair. No professional clergy. No dress clothes. No Ties!!!

8 comments:

Brad Carter said...

I'm completely with you on rooting for the extinction of humans. When those aliens from Independence Day wiped out 6 American cities, all I could think was "Yes!" When I saw I Am Legend, New York city was so nice and peaceful. In Terminator, I thought Skynet did the right thing and we should just let them take care of things for us. We're a huge menace to the earth and should be stopped at all costs.

timpani76 said...

"Nature trying to overthrow civilization."

I have never thought of springtime this way. My yard looks a lot like this right now, though, with Erik not having mowed the lawn yet this year. I wonder if he's waiting for it to go up to our waists? I did find some Lily of the Valley on the side of my house that I transplanted. I probably would not have found that before Erik mowed it down.

Isn't the whole getting a garden, planting fruit trees, and now planting strawberries and grape vines (in my yard) kind of a preparation for something like this? Isn't our year's supply of food supposed to be for SOMETHING too?

I would miss AC.....lots

Renae said...

The idea of you and Brad talking about how the end of civilization via violent means scares me a bit. I'm with you on starting anew, I can't wait until Christ comes and puts all the idiots in their place, but the whole disaster thing scares the poop out of me.

Brad Carter said...

We should figure out a non-violent means of getting rid of all these pesky humans. Something with rainbows and bunny rabbits, to appease Renae.

Bruce said...

im all for violence in the right situation. and i think i would do ok in the poast appocoliptic world. i love the hole hunt, fish, live off the land thing. and timp has a good point, FOOD STORAGE! i guess you have all herd about the rationing of rice and wheat.

Eyepoke said...

Im trying to think of a nonviolent way to get rid of most of the humans. Maybe if aliens came and abducted 90% of the population! I think it be espcially neato if they only left behind the defective ones. Maybe I should write a short story about the day all the retarded people woke up and found that all the normal people were gone. "Planet of the Retards". That could be a good time. Or if they only left behind the midgets. "Midget World" That would be really funny, cause although they would have a huge excess of everything, it would all be way too big for them. Or if they left just midgets and retarded people, and there was a war between the two. Midgets vs. Retards. Sounds like a potential as a reality TV show too.Definately something there.

timpani76 said...

I read a short story by Andre Norton where people were all given some drug to make them have smaller (midget sized) babies. This was supposed to make it easier to live in our world with less resources ect,

But, the catch was that the small people were evil and were determined to stamp out all big people. I think they called the smaller people (who ruled this world) tweeners? I never can find this short story anywhere else, but your ideas made me think of it.

Mariah said...

Interesting to know.