Daily GUIDE-ance:

Saturday, March 8, 2008


Being good is alot of work. Sometimes I think I would prefer to switch to the side of evil. The first problem with that is Liz would leave me. If I could pursuade her to lead a life of crime with me that might help but I dont think she has the right temprament. Also the lack of discipline on the dark side would tick me off to no end. Maybe if I just went for neutrality? No- thats just another word for lazy. Also, I think that I would probably tire of evil fairly quickly. Sure, the initial thrill of beating up who ever I felt deserves it would be an immense relief. But I have observed that mean people dont have friends.

In the privacy of my own car and home I indulge in forbidden rudeness though.

Normal life does not offer enough socially acceptable chances to shout things like : "I 'm going to break every bone in your body!" at people. I was thinking about this the other day. Thats ALOT of bones. It would take hours and hours to actually do to someone. and itd be exhausting. And just when you think you are finished, you remember about the 3 little ones in thier ears.

Another thing I'd like to say more to people is :"OUTTA THE WAY PECK!" Like in "Willow". Or like in the 10 Commandments and other such movies it always seems socially acceptable to address the elderly as "Old Man" or "Old Woman". That would be nice to do at Walmart "No cart for me Old Woman!" "Outta the way PECK!" Or to address the help at gas stations and such as: "Ho there slave girl! Fetch me a mountain dew and be quick about it!"

"You Fool!" thats another phrase that would be nice to use more often.


Eyepoke said...

Another thing that would be fun to shout at people, speaking of Willow, would be "Im gonna cut your head off and stick it on a pig-pole!"

Eyepoke said...

what did i marry?...
the almighty liz

Bruce said...

your a dork!

Bruce said...

acually i could think of a lot of things to say to people that would not be socally accepted. and john rember that just having the knowege that you can beat the crap out of some one is often enough to make you feel better. once i told a guy at work in a heated moment that if he didn't leave me alone i would "break him in half." knowing we were at work and i could not back what i said up at that time he acted brave but he did come back latter and try to act all nicy nice befor we left to go home(ie. the parking lot). being bad can be fun.

Anonymous said...

Trent says
"That mans a murderer!"

timpani76 said...

I'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon! (Alan Rickman's Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood P.O.T)

You're a waste of skin!

I wish pigs could fly just so their poop would fall on your head!

I have a few other favorites, but I mostly feel like shouting them when I'm in the car.

My siblings and I have called my mother "old woman" for years when we are telling her to get a move on. Yes, we're horrible children.

Anonymous said...

pigs! Poop! hahahaha!


Bruce said...


Anonymous said...

speaking of murderers how is Trent?


Bruce said...

mad because i took him to the track to coach him, had him run a 800 time trial, and he did not run as fast as he wanted to.