Daily GUIDE-ance:

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The second time this has happened this month

Today at Walmart I saw a man with a tail. He looked angry too. He was trying to buy bannannas and peanutbutter and a "who farted?" T-shirt, but the check out girl kept eating his money. He demanded to speak with her manager after a couple iterations of this behavior, but she said she was the manager, so he said he was going to call Sam Walton, and she said he was dead. He said no he was only wounded and he was sick of this type of prejudicial treatment on account of his tail and she said his tail had nothing to do with it. A fat person behind him was leaning on his shopping cart full of generic cola and ho-hos for support. At this point he spoke up in a wheeze and asked for Marlboro Reds in a box, but the girl said just a minute and the man with a tail gave him a very dirty look. Then she said if he didnt pay up she would call security. He said thats funny because I work as security at this Walmart. The woman behind the fat man left the express line they were in and headed for another line at this point. The fat man opened a cola and started to drink. Meanwhile I was looking at Magic cards but I noticed my 2 year old running away so I had to run after him and I did not get to see what happened next.

23 comments:

timpani76 said...

I'm sorry, what?

Eyepoke said...

Exactly! Indeed! Marvelous! Mandatory! Quite so! How Kind!

lizS said...

yeah, i don't get it either, and when i asked, he acted like he didn't know what i was talking about, like he didn't post whatever this is. FREAK!!

timpani76 said...

I think it is either a short story illustrating the absurdity of some racism or bias debates, or a dream.

timpani76 said...

But I wanted some clarification!

lizS said...

well, i got it out of him! he pinky swears it is complete babble. not a dream or a story or anything, just inane dribbling. so there ya go. my WIERD husband being wierd.

Bruce said...

i knew it all allong, had to be a mistake.

Bruce said...

oh, well i saw hittler eating a passion fruit while trimming a bonzi tree down the street at the welding shop. so ha!

Anonymous said...

While you were watering your mechanical bear at the fountain?

J

Bruce said...

it was in the creek but otherwise yes. i don't remember seeing you there, how did you know?

Anonymous said...

I was waiting for the prince of the moon to come to marry my beautiful daughter.

timpani76 said...

Vance goes by a lot of names, but "prince of the moon" is not one of them.

Bruce said...

whats a muesheek?

Anonymous said...

Pheasants your majesty!

J

Andrea said...

Was the tail furry?

Anonymous said...

I dunno. It was Bruce's mechanical bear. How about it Bruce? Fuzzy tail?

J

Bruce said...

i surprised you didn't notice that my bear had a horses tail. i came from the factory that way. i complained but they said "if you want a mechanical bear at a clearence price, your just gonna have to deal with some imperfections." i was mad and told them i would send the dumb bear back and wanted a refund but they said they had a no return pollicy on a clearence items. so what could i do but take it to the welding shop to get a new tail put on.

Bruce said...

i surprised you didn't notice that my bear had a horses tail. i came from the factory that way. i complained but they said "if you want a mechanical bear at a clearence price, your just gonna have to deal with some imperfections." i was mad and told them i would send the dumb bear back and wanted a refund but they said they had a no return pollicy on a clearence items. so what could i do but take it to the welding shop to get a new tail put on.

Bruce said...

its high time i puffed up.

Anonymous said...

First you must eat ONE TOWSAND LOAFS OF BREAD!!

j

Bruce said...

ill have to untie my foot befor i can eat.

Anonymous said...

Otherwise you would trip over the equator in one stride?

J

Bruce said...

did you hear that???? i think i heard an ant that is not sleeping well.