Daily GUIDE-ance:

Monday, January 28, 2008

more jabber

I'd like to explain something. Mary was right, my dropping out of our rip-roaring debate was... precipiitous??? sp?! SUDDEN. here's why:

Wthout going too much into the details very very occasionally(thank God) life requires that I have some trivial dealings with one of the people who sexually abused my wife when she was a child. On these occassions, I am not all that stable emtionally- I tend to rage. This creep and I have not been in the same building for over a decade and this is good because I honestly don't know that I would not wind up in jail. Ok what's the point you might wonder-

- well, I found out that this topic evokes very similiar feelings of - injustice, horror, revulsion, disgust and in fact rage (with the difference that in the case of Liz's abuser there is a nice human focal point for that energy, and I do not have one for the abortion issue) perhaps because we are really talking about the similiar things- the violent abuse of the innocent. I needed to take some time out before I went nuclear. I tell you this because I want you to understand the intensity of my feelings for this topic.

So I spent the last couple days reflecting, and one of the things I realized is that you can’t take the emotion out of this discussion. Or maybe I should say you should not. Lets all remember: we are not talking about if we prefer Picasso or Rembrant. This is not some high brow dinner chat about the virtues of Bach over Beethoven. It’s not intellectuo rap time about Einstein vs. Newton. We are talking about whether or not it should be legal to kill babies in the womb. If you can discuss it with out your stomach churning it means part of your soul is dead or at least heavily anesthetized. I cannot talk about it long without feeling pain and I hope it will always be so.

I dont want to drop the discussion and I kinda feel like I put a bullet in it's brain a bit by bailing and I did not intend that. For one, I think there are at least three points that we have not addressed, not to my satisfaction at least.

I think what I will post these points one at a time over the next while. It is a seriously big deep topic and we (apparently) could jam about it for a long time- I think, though, we might cover more ground if we cover the ground systematically.

Gosh. I never expected to be so serious... Its not exactly me- but I don't see any way out of it. Even if nobody comments, I think for my own peace of mind, I will have to post my various discussion points just to get them out of my system. It will take me a wee bit longer to get my thoughts organized for posting, plus I have to go to work yada yada. Again thanks for listening and thanks for caring.

(who the heck is this guy?)



Anonymous said...

Actually, John- I'm sorry I gave you trouble for that. Turns out, I needed a break myself, (I was getting WAY too worked up) and didn't go back to visit after my last posting, so I deserve that bit of criticism myself. And I didn't mean it in an unkind way, I was just teasing you, but I'm sorry none the less. And I understand with Liz's situation, sometimes this kind of subject matter can be really awful for your family.

BTW- just heard about President Hinckley, so sorry for you all.


Anonymous said...

Oh yeah- I have no intention of even going back to the discussion board to see what was said after I left, maybe because I'm a big chicken and I don't want to see, or maybe because I just don't want to think about it anymore right now- so, like I said: I can't point any fingers, without examining myself first.